solaetia

I was in the backseat of an SUV with my stepfather driving and my mother in the passenger seat and maybe my little brother next to me. We were on a sandy and rocky beach, the ocean immediately to our right. I told my stepdad that I felt afraid we were too close to the ocean and that I have dreams about him driving like this.

Later:
I had a gun. I was not me. I was going to go next door to a house and [kill???!! idk] 2 young girls. I felt hesitant and afraid and I didn't do it. But I kept thinking I had to go over there.

Then I was on a train, maybe the same person, not me. I needed to go several cars ahead of me, but the train was moving and the sideboards that you were supposed to use were outside of the car, and I was afraid I would fall so I didn't go.

Later:
I was with an old friend whom Ive recently been wondering about in waking life. Some other people were there too. We might have been in a foreign country. We sat at a table at a convenience store/cafe. A man asked us if we wanted anything. At first we all declined, but I saw that I had a box with 3 donuts in it and I decided to order some coffee to go with them. My friend also ordered coffee. Soon after I saw my coffee on the counter near the register with a receipt under it and I walked over and picked it up.

I took a swig of vodka form a bottle, a drink of some other alcohol, and poured a tiny bit of orange juice into a shot glass and drank it.

Later:
I was in a classroom sitting at a table with some old school friends. They were young teenagers, and I think I was too. Our teacher was my dog's previous Dog Trainer. She mentioned something about shrimp, directed at me, I said I didn't like shrimp. She said I should maybe 'open my mind more.' I was confused but just sat there. A pretty brunette girl walked into the room with another adult/teacher. My friends whispered to themselves and then told me that I would be like that girl if I was nice. I felt hurt, and told them that I had never been purposely mean to them and asked them what had I done to treat them poorly. I decided to get up and leave the classroom.

I went outside of the building and sat on a ledge overlooking the street. I saw a boy from my childhood (dreamt about him not so long ago, but I never think or talk to him in waking life, wonder what he represents?) skateboarding down a hill.

The next day I went back to class after grabbing a lot of books from my locker. At my seat in class there was an attendance slip with a sea foam green ribbon on it that said 'please see Julia.' I knew it was because I had left early yesterday. We had a test on yesterday's material and I knew I wouldn't pass.The teacher seemed concerned and irritated with me, and as I left asked me to please at lest consider going to the event on Saturday. I wasn't sure what she meant.

Thoughts:
I went for over 2 weeks without drinking and decided to buy some wine this weekend. I drank, but didn't enjoy it as much as I previously had and looked forward to the bottle being empty so I could start 'not drinking' again. Obviously still hooked enough to not want to pour it out.